PTJ Playlist: Take 1, Part 1
When I opened the site up to write this, I realized it’s been over two years since I’ve done anything here for myself. Still sitting in my drafts is an ode to Foo Fighters that I started in 2021 and haven’t touched since after Taylor’s death in 2022. I swear to you, I’m going to finish that some day. Even more has happened that I need to add and talk about now.
What brought me here tonight is reflection, loss, and crazy thinking. This idea started back in February of this year. One of our local well known radio stations, who shaped a bunch of people’s lives, went off the air. It was tragic for a lot of us who grew up with CD 101 and it showed by the number of people in the building that night to say goodbye.
Back in the day, there was this thing called CD101 Guest DJ. Lesley James would ask you to email her a list of like 10 songs and if you got picked, you got the opportunity to go in on her show one afternoon to play and talk about those said 10 songs. I think mine was the first one of 2009. Anyway, I always wanted to be a DJ because it was the coolest fucking job on the planet to me. You sit and play music all day, you connect with people, you bring music to the masses, and you get to share the joy of music really being magic every day of your life. Plus, you know, I kind of wanted to go to shows for free and meet rock stars too. (Which 15 years later, is still my motivation for wanting to be in the music industry. Haha) Long story short, I did the thing and went to broadcasting school.
So when all this with CD 92.9 (formally CD 101) went down in February 2024, I thought to myself, what can I do to keep a part of it alive. More specifically, a part that changed my life forever and that’s when I had the crazy idea of trying to do like a PTJ Guest DJ thing. I put feelers out and a couple people said “sure” but we never really got around to scheduling anything so I was like meh, ok.
Then, for no reason what so ever, I decided that I wanted to sit down and make a list of the songs that I’ve been listening to over the past couple of months, and why they struck a cord with me. (Ah the clever word play) Much like JLO’s new album, no one asked for this either and I doubt it will gain traction except with my faithful 3 friends who will come here from the Facebook link. No shade to JLO btw, I just saw a comedian in an Instagram reel use that line in reference to JLO’s new stuff and thought, that’s so relevant in every day life that I can’t handle it. She had some bangers back in the early 00’s for real though.
Ok, so, without further ado, here’s the first 6 songs on the list of 12, with explanations of why they are my jams right now, that no one asked for, probably doesn’t want and are now like, why am I wasting my time.
I should pre-face with 2024 has been an interesting year thus far, and my mood very much influences what I’m listening to because I’m that person who is like “oh I can’t find the words, OMG, here’s this song that does”
You’ve been warned, enjoy!
I want to start out with Yes, I’m a Mess by AJR. I literally could not think of any better song to describe how I am currently feeling in life. There is nothing more telling than lyrics such as…
Why should I fix the shit I've done
When I could just pack my shit and run?
Delete every number from my phone
So long
I can not tell you the number of times in 2024 that I’ve already wanted to “blow up my life” and we’re only in April. This song just perfectly hits every time.
https://youtu.be/22Iot0IbkjQ?si=SmWf28tf-qiophX0
2. All Out Of Fight by P!NK
I have loved this woman since I witnessed her open for *NSYNC back on their No Strings Attached tour in 2000. She was the FIRST BIG artist I had the opportunity to photography professionally when I wrote an article about her back in 2019. It was the single greatest moment of my life. I’d still love to meet her someday. Trustfall is her most raw album to date in my opinion and I remember crying in my car this first time I played this song. I think we all get involved with situations in this life that drain the fight right out of not only your body, but your soul too and when it’s just her singing
I'm all out of fight
My heart will always know your name
I'm all out of love
But look at all the love we made
I'm all out of life
Oh babe, it's killin' me to say
I'm all out of love, I'm all out of life, I'm all out of fight, oh
I felt it in mine. P!NK if you ever read this, thank you for the 24 years of pure “fuck off “ inspiration.
https://youtu.be/5DuZkK_trYY?si=NZjVpPFynPOAiqsg
3. Drown by Justin Timberlake
NSYNC > BSB is the only way to live life. Kidding, but JT has been my go to since he tragically went solo. FutureSex/LoveSound is STILL the greatest Timberlake album in this lifetime hands down in this woman’s opinion. 20/20 was also pretty stellar. Everything I Thought It Was is kind of a return to that classic Justin Timberlake sound and franky, I’m here for it. (And the new *NSYNC song, but we’ll get to that later) Drown had a lot of people wondering if it’s an updated version of What Goes Around and maybe it is, but I love it for the honesty of admitting you’ve gotten yourself in too deep with someone/something who drowned your ass and could have tried to save you but instead just let it happen. I think we’ve all been there. God knows I have.
Yeah, you know I was blinded by my heart, sinking from the start
Should've never followed you this far, now I'm in the deep end
And you let me drown
You didn't even try to save me
https://youtu.be/g-n0AkzFjjQ?si=oN59WnhamyNXi43g
4. We Can’t Be Friends (Wait for your love) by Ariana Grande
Oh lord JESUS. Ari got my ass good with this song. Like I said earlier, I use music a lot to speak about how I’m feeling when I can’t find the words and Ariana just gave a whole damn speech. This entire song wrecked my existence so much, I played it on repeat for 48 hours straight. In the car, in the house, everywhere.
First of all, the video and her homage to Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind and Sixteen Candles is brilliant. I remember the first time I watched Eternal Sunshine and thinking holy fuck, I wish this was a really thing. A place where you could go to wipe your memory clean of a person who meant so much to you but now is just heartbreak and despair in your mind. And what hopeless romantic from the 80’s movies era doesn’t want that scene at the end of Sixteen candles to be a thing? The man of your dreams just showing up for you, then sitting on the table with a birthday cake wishing you a happy birthday and telling you to make a wish, like Jesus Christ. John Hughes wrecked me.
And unfortunately for me, this song literally hit the day before my birthday and I knew my fate would not be that of Sam and Jake at the end of Sixteen Candles but more of Peaches in Ariana Grande’s video. Trying to wipe my memory clean of this person who means so much to me and all the times we’ve had but now having to forget because…. we can’t be friends. (No matter how hard we try.)
I didn't think you'd understand me
How could you ever even try?
I don't wanna tiptoe, but I don't wanna hide
But I don't wanna feed this monstrous fire
Just wanna let this story die
And I'll be alright
The second I heard those lyrics, I knew. I knew that this was a song that was staying with me for a while, if not a lifetime.
https://youtu.be/KNtJGQkC-WI?si=LPfOlRIdKkeJ16C9
5. Paradise by *NSYNC
As a long time Nsyncer, there is nothing more I have wanted for oh say the last idk, 22 years than some type reunion. BSB did it, 98 Degrees have done it, hell, NKOTB can’t stop doing it now. Yet, we get nothing from these guys. I get it, I understand it, you want to move on with your life, but guess what, (It’s Gonna Be May, sorry HAD to) any way, us fans never got that chance because you kind of just left us here to figure out what to do with all this love we had for a band that just stopped being a band. You tore up our hearts *NSYNC and it just wasn’t cool. Then March 13th, 2024 happened and all HELL broke loose. The rumors of a new song not only turned out to be TRUE but Justin also orchestrated a FREAKING reunion at his pop up show in LA. I was up watching the live feed that night and it crashed so many time it was unreal!! This is going to sound so dumb from a grown woman but, I can not tell you how much joy and hope it brought me to see those 5 on the same stage together. NSYNC was a massive part of my life growing up. They represent this time where I was still me and life hadn’t quite hit yet. No depression, no anxiety, hopes, dreams, and ideations of love still a plenty and like a lot of us, I’d give anything just to feel that way again, even if it’s just a fleeting moment at a reunion tour. So of course hearing the guys sing
Cause I've waited
I've been waitin' forever
Right here for this moment
Between you and I
Everything is happenin'
And it's just what I imagined
I imagine it would feel like (oh-oh-oh)
Paradise
hit a really good place in my soul because us *NSYNC fans have been waiting right here for this moment for 22 years and it honestly did feel like a bit of paradise. Almost like hope restored. So I want to put out this plea out to, justiN, chriS, joeY, laNce, jC, please, please do a reunion tour. We miss you and we’ll show up if you do, this I promise you.
https://youtu.be/k8iqN8hOvQA?si=6hb9jjLf0AYxY3PU
6. Eyes Closed by Ed Sheeran
It is widely known I am not a huge fan of Ed Sheeran’s music. He’s a super talented singer/song writer, and performer, who has a ton of great songs but he’s just not in my wheel house. That was until I watched his documentary, The Sum Of All Things. I gained a whole new appreciation for him as a musician and as a human.
This song ultimately deals with the death of his best friend Jamal Edwards and anyone who’s been there knows how damn hard it is to get over losing an entire piece of your heart.
I wanted to pick out just a few lyrics that hooked me with this one but truthfully, I can’t because it’s the whole song. I woke up one April morning about two weeks ago, 13 years later STILL dancing with my eyes close because everywhere I look I still see him.
I take all those years of my Ed Sheeran lack of respect back.
https://youtu.be/u6wOyMUs74I?si=btJR3HsWmknN5YzL
A good place to end it, I think. Look for part 2, songs 7-12 to follow soon.
*On a updated note, I woke up this morning to the news that the WWCD era has now officially ended, so I would like to dedicate this blog to everyone at WWCD101, CD 102.5, and CD 92.9 who influenced a generation. Thank you all for everything.*
