PTJ Playlist: Take 1, Part 2
Welcome back! I hope you enjoyed part 1 and are ready for part 2!
So where did we leave off?!
Seven, right?!
7. Nose On The Grindstone by Tyler Childers
This one is hard for me to write about. It’s almost too personal, but I am going to do my best here without getting into a lot of details. This is the one that turned the light bulb on that illuminated the path to my massive 1am breakdown on a beach by myself. I saw him at the beginning of April at his first Sold Out show at The Forum in LA. Medium Build was the opener and impressive. I’m still looking for a song he (Medium Build) did that night and I’m coming up empty or just delulu to the name which is a total possibility. Any way, Tyler sat and shared a story of how he’s been a fan of MB for a while and he was glad he could be on this tour, what he wasn’t expecting was to have a good cry while watching Medium Build that night right before he had to go on stage. Tyler went on to tell this sold out crowd that it was ok though because “it was a good healing cry and it felt needed.” So cut to about half way through the gospel that is a Timmy show, he comes out with his acoustic and about a song later the cords for this very song start. The sea of cell phones that went up all at once was an incredible sight to see and was only topped by what seemed to be the sound of the entire crowd singing. Enter the start of the breakdown. For some damn reason, it was almost like I was actually hearing the words of this particular verse for the first time and in that moment it hit me like a 110mph slapshot to the face that I was unprepared for, leaving me broken, bloody and covered in my own tears. I know it was because of life. Absolutely 100%, I know that has everything to do with it. What I was not expecting was this song to be the catalyst for me rage screaming into the pacific ocean as I decided that some things in my life needed to go ahead and drown, right there, that night.
Keep in mind that a man's just as good as his word
It takes twice as long to build bridges you've burnt
And there's hurt you can cause time alone cannot heal
Keep your nose on the grindstone and out of the pills
Well Daddy, I've been tryin', I just can't catch a break
There's too much in this world I can't seem to shake
I played it all night, I fell asleep to it, I played it the next day, I drove down the PCH playing it, and I’m literally playing it right now because it’s a reminder of how hard this verse now resonates through me like a tsunami. So thank you Tyler Childers for the good healing cry that will send shock waves through my life from April 2024 and beyond. And that’s all I have to say about that.
https://youtu.be/_QzcrflqDCg?si=qNEF6A0vx8bgijsu
8. Baby, I Love Your Way by Peter Frampton
About a week after the tsunami hit me, it was a cold, wet night at The Greek. I posted this song on my Facebook page that morning because it’s my favorite Frampton song. I don't know why, it's just always been the one I've gravitated towards the most. Let me tell you, the actual, live in person, hearing of Peter singing this is even better than the Frampton Comes Alive! version which I did not think was possible. Now listen, being a huge Simpsons fan, I would be remised if I didn’t bring up that my absolute favorite thing is his line in an old episode called Homerpalooza that goes something like this “Homer Simpson wrecks my pig, Cypress Hill steals my orchestra, and Sonic Youth’s in my cooler, get outta there you kids!” Congratulations on getting into the Rock and Roll Hall of fame this year!
Here’s a little video from the show you so know I’m not lying…
https://drive.google.com/file/d/19odAoZ_4kVZv-17Xxi0CSVkF5jOTMUyO/view?usp=sharing
And then the song in it’s entirety
https://youtu.be/h6vpdMhkenY?si=WCvbzinxlGZr2LCc
9. I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That) by Meatloaf
I love this song. Straight up it’s the greatest Meatloaf song. It’s on my list for a few reasons. I can not seem to get it out of my space lately for one. It’s been in movies and all over SXM radio for no apparent reason. The song isn’t actually in the movie Leap Of Faith, but he is and it’s a stupid good movie and every time I presently watch it, I think of this song. Two, I find myself praying more to the god of rock and roll, than anything else these days. (Especially for the answers I seek.) And C: the theme of the song seems to just go with my life right now and I really don’t need a better explanation for myself than that. Plus, it’s Meatloaf, the guy you’d least expect to be a rock star, and he was probably one of the late 70’s/ early 80’s finest.
And some days I pray for silence
And some days I pray for soul
Some days I just pray to the God
Of Sex and Drums and Rock 'N' Roll
https://youtu.be/BPYnpiJlBBY?si=pG_cCgZUKW0DtnaV
10. I Can Do It With A Broken Heart by Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift and I have one thing in common. Our unparalleled ability to kill it while we, ourselves, actually feel like dying. I didn’t say it was a good thing to have in common, just one that we do. My heart break though was overall and not just in one area of life, but I was entire wasteland of heart break. 2023 was one big smoke screen. Much like Taylor, I had the whole production, lights, mirror balls, fog machines, shiny outfits, and lie after lie of “yeah, I'm good" but really on the inside, I just wanted to collapse to the floor and never get up. I remember my “breaking down I hit the floor” moment like it was yesterday. Thankfully, I was alone in the green room before a show when the full on panic attack hit so no one really knew. However, a member of the band ended up walking in and asking me what was wrong and when I replied “nothing” he hit back with “unhuh, what’s wrong” so that’s kind of when I knew I had finally crashed to the floor. The weight from all the things I had been doing in this broken heart stage had gotten so heavy I couldn’t keep up the show anymore. When this song came out a few weeks ago I immediately wanted to find a way to thank Taylor for it because I felt like someone finally got it. I think it is one of the greatest things she’ll ever do. Maybe it won’t be a hit, but she went out and showed the entire world a few things with it. Example, you have no ideal how much someone sacrifices their own happiness for others some times. And how we all wear masks in this life. You honestly have not one single fucking clue of how miserable a human being is because at the end of the day, they only show you what they want you to see. Taylor is a very successful woman, who has the world, in the eyes of the rest of us and she hid how unhappy she was as to not let anyone down but herself. Hopefully, she’s recovering and loving someone isn’t ruining her life anymore. Which Fortnight is not really my jam but that lyric of I love you, it’s ruining my life, is the most heavy hitting lyric for anyone doing it with broken heart. She seems, seems being the key word here, to be doing ok now and that gives me hope for myself. And this is all coming from a non-Swiftie, too.
'Cause I' m a real tough kid, I can handle my shit
They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did
Lights, camera, bitch smile, even when you wanna die
https://youtu.be/i8_w_m6HLJ0?si=3jpZ5qf24STebhki
11. The Mortal by The Broken Relics
If you scroll down about two articles from this one, you’ll find one on these guys. They are not a well known national band at this point, but my god, I hope some day, they are a household name in music.
This song is one of their sleeper hits in my opinion. I’ve been a fan of it for a really long time. At some point earlier this year, I found myself walking around with it just continually stuck in my head for numerus days at a time. No reason, they hadn’t even played it live in a while, it was just there. Then, I started seeing a theme in the music that was impacting my life at certain points. Do you know what the definition of the word mortal is? A living human being, often in contrast to a divine being, subject to death. Or causing or liable to death; fatal.
Fatal. As in: Done. Over. Finito. Functions have ceased. Dead, dead, deadski as Beetlejuice would say.
I’m pretty sure that 2023 was sent to kill me because it was just more than what one person can handle. I honestly do not know how or why I made it through. Or maybe 2023 was a lesson to make me realize that being human is a condition and whether it is physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual, all roads, are at some point, fatal and you just have to deal with the mortality of it. 2024 is about that part. Dealing with the death of it all and healing what is left.
Ohh
I cannot lose and I cannot take no more
Supposed to be the highway to take me home
Riddled away I'm already half gone
I'm so dizzy I cannot get no sleep
https://youtu.be/ZPpDAq4BZco?si=1a9d49e8kz85bTTb
12. The Door by Teddy Swims
Some times, no matter how bad you want them to be, things just aren’t worth saving. Some times you got to ask yourself, what’s the point? Is it going to hurt more to leave or stay and keep replaying the damn thing over and over. Plain and simple. Teddy gets it. Teddy is wise.
I don't wanna lose you, baby
But I can't play this game no more
I thought it would kill me
But tonight I saved my life when I showed you the door
https://youtu.be/VSXT4a2kRHA?si=G46bISUb42ZAGEqu
Well, that’s it! Thanks everyone who took time out of your busy life to read this BS about mine. Maybe I’ll do another one in the summer. Until then, take care of yourselves cause you are a mortal and it’s just a quick trip.
